We all know what it’s like to work long hours at the office. But just because you’re tied to your cubicle doesn’t mean you can’t burn off some of that stress while improving your overall health. Below are a baker’s dozen of fun exercises any Dilbert can do in the comfort of their cubicle:
The Easy, Peazy Abdomen Squeezies – Even when coworkers are busy toiling at their tasks, this silent exercise will allow you to sneak in a bit of fitness without disturbing anyone. As you are seated in your chair, take a deep breath in, and slowly squeeze your abdominal muscles, holding the squeeze for 5-10 seconds. Rip out 10 ab squeezies any time your gut feels flabby.
Summertime Thigh Blaster – Its crunch time for your committee to get projects approved before summer, and savvy workers know there’s always time for a good thigh workout. While you’re waiting around for the bosses upstairs to look things over, place both elbows on your thighs and then try to fold your chest towards your legs while pushing against the movement with your arms. Hang on to that for 10 seconds and then release before crunching in another 10 reps.
Project Posture Promotion – Experts agree that when it’s a tight race for valuable in-house promotions, good seating posture can literally put you head and shoulders above the others. Keep a ramrod straight back as you work, walk and eat.
The Stress Popper – When your manager is screaming about your overdue TPS reports, a great way to relieve a little stress is to use your wheeled desk chair as a piece of exercise equipment. Scoot your chair until you can just grasp the edge of your desk with your hands. Now lift your feet off the ground an inch and hold that position while you slowly use your arm to reel in your body until your chest touches the desk. Now push away and repeat until your body gets the memo.
Seated Belly Dancing – Many office workers are able to surreptitiously work on their second job moonlighting as a belly dancer by taking advantage of the swivel function of most office chairs. To melt those stubborn love handles, sit upright on your chair and lift your feet one inch off of the ground. Now grasp your desk with your thumb and fingers. Twist your inner-genie core to swivel side to side until you’ve completed 15 sweaty rounds.
The No-Sweat Push-Up – Every military movie you’ve ever seen always shows buff young men blasting off dozens of push-ups. In the office, you can get the same effect without even breaking a sweat by using the wall. Take two steps from a sturdy wall and then lean forward until your palms are flat against the wall. Now, bend your elbows and sweep your body towards the wall, then hold for two seconds and then rinse, rather and repeat 15 times or until you’re humming the tune to Rocky.
The CEO Shrug – One day in the far future when the suits up on the top floor have recognized your many years of hard toil for the firm by installing you as CEO, you need to get ready to look the part. Obfuscate company earnings and confuse shareholders with the perfect shoulder shrug. Raise both shoulders straight up, holding for five seconds, and then allowing to relax. Blast off 15 more of these babies until the board is ready to double your bonus.
The Pencil Pincher – Nothing improves productivity like attention to details. Practice saving your boss’s money by rolling the back of your shoulders until the shoulder blades feel “pinched” together, as if you’re squeezing a pencil between them. Hold for 15 seconds and then repeat 15 times until you’re a genius at spreadsheets.
Paul Bunyon Stomp – Next time the copier jams, a far more economical way to take out your frustration is to perform the Paul Bunyon Stomp. Stand with legs apart and clasp hands together over your shoulder as if you were holding an axe. Pretend to swing the axe across your body and then switch directions, repeating the entire thing 15 times until you’re in the mood to drink blue milk.
The Casual Lean-In – While certain bestselling books help ambitious workers advance their careers, the casual lean-in can help even the most satisfied member of middle management. To get a great upper arm workout, simply casually lean against the nearest wall, supporting yourself only with the forearm. Now just keep leaning until you’ve got to push back out, repeating this until you’re appointed CEO.
Flappy Boardroom – If last quarter’s statistics are casting a pallor of gloom and doom over the boardroom, bust out this move inspired by wacky dancers of the 1920s. Stand with your arms by your sides and palms facing backwards and then wiggle your arms for five seconds as you channel your inner penguin. Repeat for 15 reps until you’re dreaming of a vacation in Antarctica.
The Passive Punch – When the suits upstairs have heartlessly axed yet another one of your genius ideas, frustration can mount until you’re just about ready to go nuts. Burn off some worksite frustration by engaging in high-energy shadow boxing. Throw jabs, uppercuts and overhand smashes against the morons who taunt you by their consistent ability to fail upwards.
Spirit Pump – When your team manager informs you of the good news from corporate that the company’s stock price is up for the year, a great way to share your team spirit and improve health is to fire off 60 seconds’ worth of Spirit Pumps. Punch your fist in the air like the champion you are and don’t stop until all your co-workers are brimming with team spirit.